Cultivating Balance in Bad Times
I tell my Yoga and Pilates students that wobbling is good
because it's building strength, which will lead to balance. There is much grief, anger, and anxiety related to injustices we notice in the world today. It is important to feel your feels and it’s necessary to find healthy ways to process them. We must stand up to wrongs and fight for justice and equality. What concerns me is the way many are dealing with the injustices by slinging more negativity into the universe. I sense a foreboding that ‘like attracts like’ and ‘what goes around, comes around.’ When we respond to negative events with more negativity, negative responses increase. It’s a snowball effect that can leave us all flattened if we don’t step out of the way.
But what can we do?
Cultivate balance.
How?
Here are some suggestions:
1. Do the opposite of what you’re compelled to do. Ayurvedic medicine teaches about the three life forces, or individual constitutions, called Doshas. They are Pitta, Vata, and Kapha. A person with an out-of-balance Pitta Dosha is wound up, angry, or “on fire”. The impulse would be to keep raging, continue to fan the flame, kick ass and take names. Instead, the best course of action would be to drink water, rest or meditate, maybe even take a cool shower. If your Kapha Dosha is dominant and not in balance, you might be most inclined to sink into depression, sleep and eat more, and become less active. It would be more helpful to do the opposite: Exercise more, eat healthy, get together with friends, and/or start a new project or hobby. To discover which is your dominant Dosha and how to bring it into balance, look here: https://kripalu.org/resources/ayurvedic-doshas or here: https://www.ayurveda.com/resources/articles/doshas-their-elements-and-attributes. Once back in balance, pursue a course of action with a cool head.
2. Walk a mile in another’s shoes. As a School Social Worker, I’ve had students actually put on a collection of used shoes of various sizes and walk around the room in them. Then we discussed what it felt like to wobble and trip around in them. Out of the mouths of babes came the most profound words: “It was uncomfortable,” “I didn’t like it,” “It hurt (my feet).” Empathy is a powerful game-changer. Pause to consider what might have motivated another’s behavior, words, or life choices. We are all doing the best we can with what life has given us. If you’re more woke than most, that’s a gift. Help others to get there, too.
3. Like good elementary teachers and moms always say, “Treat others the way you want to be treated,” even when they seem to deserve the worst. Similarly, Karma teaches that you receive what you put out into the world. These words of wisdom encourage us to rise above our personal feelings and to choose actions that we won’t regret later.
4. Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness teaches us to put space between an event and our reaction to it. When the intensity of a situation increases, walk away, sit, take deep breaths, count to 10. The more you practice Mindfulness, the more successful you’ll be managing your response to uncomfortable stimuli. Mindfulness exercises may be found here: https://www.headspace.com/meditation/exercises.
5. Before blasting something out on social media, write it down in a journal, or a letter to yourself. Distract yourself for an hour, then go back and read it. Read it out loud to yourself first, then to a trusted friend or family member, if possible. Then decide if it would be a good thing to share publicly. Consider your real motivation for posting something on social media and possible outcomes.
6. If we want to change the world, we have to start with ourselves. Do the hard work of looking within. Here are a few questions to get you started:
a. What fears do I have and how do they motivate me?
b. What insecurity do I hide?
c. Three values I hold dear are…
d. How does my behavior impact others?
e. If I could make two wishes that would come true, they’d be…
f. What is truly in, and out, of my control?
It’s true, there is a lot of bad stuff going on in the world. It is just as true that there’s a lot of good happening. We must strive for balance in noticing and holding both if we’re to successfully navigate our environment with our mental health, families, and communities intact. Change is possible. There is hope for the future.
May you have peace,
Shelli
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